This October

This October

On October twenty-fourth, four years ago,

            He was saying his good-byes

                        To his best friends--

                        His mother, his aunts--

            And packing up his house,

                        To start a new life

                        South and on the Gulf.

On October twenty-fourth, four years ago,

            I was living in bottles, in despair,

                        Losing everything,

                        Killing myself slowly

            With whatever tools I could find

                        On over-mortgaged,

                        Undervalued time.

On October twenty-fourth, three years ago,

            He was weekending on Eola,

                        Honeymooning,

                        Licking his own wounds,

            From a broken heart of his own,

                        Navigating lost love

                        On the crest of new hope.

On October twenty-fourth, three years ago,

            I was made alive again, alive,

                        Unexpectedly,

                        Underservedly ,

            Loved with pure affection,

                        Loved first and frightened

                        By certain failure,

            Loving back apprehensively.

On October twenty-fourth, two years ago,

            We lived together in remnants

                        Of my shattered past,

                        Spooned on my old sheets,

            That I cautiously unmade, clinging

                        To the anxiety of

                        Abandonment

            In the face of full acceptance.

On October twenty-fourth, one year ago,

            We had made our own place together

                        Just ours and modest,

                        Just ours together,

            Free from haunting ghosts and

                        Free from depression;

                        With our own dirty sheets,

            With our own life together, with love

                        And tomorrows

                        And yesterdays

                                    Of our own.

On October twenty-fourth, one minute ago,

            We committed to a together forever

                        With diamonds and gold rings:

                          Quietly: unceremoniously.

            The sweetest kiss he ever gave me

                        The sweetest I’ve ever had

                        The last kiss I’ll ever need,

            Saying our hellos, officially an us:

                        No forced labels,

                           Just love promises

                                    Of our own.


Read more of my poetry, essays, and stories at Momentitiousness.com